I know I’ve been quiet Lately. Well, non existent really!
I went on an outdoor challenge called Go Ape. It’s basically an assault course in the trees. There was a lot of climbing involved and heights of up to 12m. I’m not good at either. But the biggest scare factor was knowing I had a massive 212 zip wire at the end. It seemed like half a mile. The course was divided into 5 sections and I was honestly ready to quit after the 3rd section, not just because of fear but also from tiredness.
A very good friend called me up. In truth I don’t think he was going to let me get out of it, but he was very persuasive. I felt like I was almost humouring him as I started to climb the ladder. I got half way up and stopped. And then I thought of all the other people, just like me, who are currently battling things that others cannot see. Sometimes things seem impossible and it feels like we are fighting alone. Other times we try and share and people still don’t see it. So I continued up the ladder. I wasn’t fighting this battle for anybody else, I was fighting it for myself.
And that’s the same way it should be with my mental health. Sometimes it feels easier fighting for other people when I can reach out and say ‘it’s ok, I get it, you’re not alone’. But when trying to explain to people who don’t understand or can’t see the pain I’m in, I bottle up and feel isolated. I don’t have to fight for other people all the time though or have to fight to make people understand. It’s ok that I just have the strength in me to fight for myself.
I finished all 5 sections. And I came away with a very dirty bum.
And now I’m thinking of my next challenge. Bring it on!!