I’m 34 years old and for the last 20 years I have battled with an eating disorder. Despite studying psychology and mental health and looking into every body else’s problems, I hid mine away as something I could control. I really should have known better but that’s the nature of the problem. Join me as I start reaching (and at times pleading) for professional help; tell my family and friends; and challenge the stigma associated with all mental health issues.
I primarily suffer with Binge Eating Disorder, although most eating disorders are related and people often switch between different categories over time. You’d think that if I was going to switch to another it would be Bulimia Nervosa as it also involves binging, however I have a couple of times switched to Anorexia Nervosa. The underlying feelings I have about myself never really changed and even my feelings about food didn’t change much either – it was just the way I tried to control my relationship with food that differed.
It takes over my life. I look at other people that are twice my size and I still think I’m bigger. I constantly obsess about food and my my size and my weight. I eat virtuously most of the time, especially in front of others, but in secret I have these overwhelming urges to eat that can last for hours until I give in.
If you are reading this and you still feel ‘I just don’t get it, why doesn’t she stop’, please read up on it:
NHS Choices on Eating Disorders – read about all eating disorders, not just mine. They are all linked.
B-Eat – A charity for Eating Disorders which also explains about them and has tips for family and friends.
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